I thought growing up was something that happened automatically as you got older. But it turns out it's something you have to choose to do.

 I like to play make believe. I like to pretend I am all dressed up in a tall modest dress with a set of long sophisticated pearls twirled around my posed neck and my pair of heels portray my stableness and security but when you get a closer look you can actually see the fear and innocents behind the amateur applied lipstick. The heels are barely filled and the pearls are clumsily wrapped around my neck. You can see nothing more than a little girl trying to fit in. 

             Starting college, I never felt such a rush to grow up. The comfort of your moms hand holding yours become lost with new responsibilities and obligations. You loose your sense of security and comfort when what was familiar to you becomes the real world. 

              My sense of imagination and creativity is replaced with work and no play. I crave to play with my care free nature but I am holding back. 

           

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" 

          I can't go back to the comfort of my family and being in the arms of my friends like it was a few months ago. What was then is not now and and what is now is not then. That is the beauty of time, although it ticks the the same 60 minutes each is moment is unique. I can't look for comfort in the past and try to make it work today

              I have to take each day as it come as a mature girl or not. I can't change the past and I can't be afraid of what I don't know. I can freely explore with an open heart and the rest will follow. 
              The world is big but If I can't fit in with the everyone I'm not going to play dress-up with myself when I can play make believe with the world.